I just saw a hot homeless man
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
