Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Fuck appropriateness.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
