so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
