dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
