is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
