I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you didnt know i had herpes?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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