what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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