Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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