god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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