Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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