tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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