yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
