i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
