I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize