Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize