I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
