and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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