She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize