I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
