Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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