shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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