Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to have your abortion
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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