is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
