sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
