i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
