i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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