her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
