I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
