no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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