It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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