you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
