On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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