I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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