Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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