We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize