I just made out with a guy for $7.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
