So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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