you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
