The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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