if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
