that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
