Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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