i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My breasts were aching with rage.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
