And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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