I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize