i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
