Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im on a boat
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