If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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