Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
