k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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