Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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