look no pants
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
