I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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