sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
