Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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