The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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