I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
