at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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