why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
