Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
