It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
