Can Purell be used as lube?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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