If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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