the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
