dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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