I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
