He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
