I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
